Reasons I’m not working on my next script:
- The economy
- Am I hungry?
- Gotta check Variety
- I didn’t get my workout in this morning
- My 21-month-old daughter only sleeps for an hour and a half
- I’ve been sick
- That great idea I had last night? Not so great
- GE is going to sell NBC/U to Comcast
- I’m writing this list
- My mouth tastes like procrastination
So that’s where I start. People wonder why us writers are so prickly and prone to pickling. It’s this: there are a million different reasons why I shouldn’t write that idea. And they’re all in my head. I have to battle through my perceptions about why you won’t like it. And if you do like it– I’ll think you’re just being polite. Or worse. Lying.
Once I finally get the idea, then I have to flesh it out. So far I have four ideas at the front of the line.
They’ve stood the test of my inner torture: where I remind myself that the idea has been done before and better. And it’s now a boring idea. (But maybe it’s boring now and won’t be by the time I get it finished. Hmmmm.)
They’ve stood the four wine/two vodka test. That’s where you and I are having adult beverages somewhere and I float the idea by you. You, being as socially lubricated as I am, concur that it does sound like a good idea. (Or at least I HEAR you saying that– sometimes I have to listen between your words to hear what I want you to say.)
They’ve stood the white board test. That’s where I write down the barest scrape of the idea on a white board and if it lasts longer than my ability to erase it (because the erasable ink has stained the board), then maybe I have something.
They’ve stood the Log It and Pitch It Test: where I, in total desperation to have something for me and my director to pitch in a meeting, scrape up something about which I could bare to write a descriptive paragraph.
And what are these ideas? None of your damn business. I don’t trust you people as far as I could throw you. And I have skinny arms, a flabby core and skinny legs.
